Japanese Group Feeling

Last night I was at a sushi place that is our hangout. Sitting in the corner of the bar, I could see the whole scene. A sushi bar in the US is never the same. Here, there is a feeling of everybody being in a cooperative group. People know the chefs and there are some acquaintances, no doubt. But, the feeling of belonging has little to do with personal relationships. If I see someone I know there, usually there would be no conversation. No sharing of personal feeling. This leads me always a certain loneliness that comes from being American and expecting individual relationships as the basis of life. But, this group feeling has another nuance that is hard to describe. It is the same in the dojyo. Never relating to anyone on a personal level, but still begin together as a group. I went to a funeral this morning. Again, the same feeling. Very moving, one of the few people whose whole family constellation that I am aware of and have known for years on many different levels invited me to her mother's funeral. Because the relationship is deep, there are pinpoints of very poignant sharing. But again, within the group framework.